....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
