she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
