With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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