Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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