so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
