No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize