quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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