Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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