I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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