drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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