Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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