she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
