You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
