I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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