I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
