hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
That accounts for only three of the penises
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
