We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
