Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
