i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
They have beer where we have blood.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
