please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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