oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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