We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize