You're completely useless in the revolution.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
