Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
