ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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