he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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