u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
