taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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