I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize