i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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