To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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