We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
