i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
