Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize