he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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