well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
