whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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