Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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