I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
