I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
