she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
