Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
