they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
