was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
