He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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