So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
