Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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