I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
