So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
of course. lets lasso hookers.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize