The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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