please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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