In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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