the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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