Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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