I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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