I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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