I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
