The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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