i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
