I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
