i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You are the jesus of drinking
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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