you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
