went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
