This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize